Many of you know that I recently went through a life changing experience with my dear friend Heather as she delivered her precious baby Sawyer, who had died just a few short days before delivery. I have been quite surprised at the emotions and new perspective this day has etched into my being. The other weekend Heather and I were spending a day in town (the guys took the kids blueberry picking.... thanks guys!) I had previously seen Heather in other situations of dealing with others responses to her and the death of Sawyer and would try to look past her response and really "feel" what she was going through. As we were in town there was a time that Heather was pushing Tessa in the stroller and I noticed others oohing over Tess. I thought to myself ..... maybe for that moment Heather was pretending that it was Sawyer that they were oohing over .... or maybe she was feeling that it just sucks.... it was supposed to be Sawyer that she was pushing in a stroller. A few moments later a mom with a new baby boy was in the same store as us and I felt my heart breaking as I stopped myself from my normal congratulations to the new mom. It has been such a blessing to walk this journey with Heather and I have learned so much on the way. As I try to walk with Heather each day where she is at it makes realize how much we all need someone to walk in our shoes. Maybe it isn't someone who has suffered a tragedy like the death of a child but whose shoes could you walk in ..... maybe instead of being frustrated at you very energetic child ..... slip into their shoes for a day, its hard to hold still..... instead of nagging at your spouse for that thing they havn't done .... slip into their shoes and see what they have done... instead of judging that mom on welfare .... slip into her shoes and feel her helplessness. Who ever it is, I guarantee if you put their shoes on, it will enlighten you with a whole new understanding.
I have to admitt Heather's shoes are very uncomfortable and although quite ugly form the outside, I am told that they will be lined with a beautiful silk some day. If I had the opportunity I would burn them for her, but I know that if I did that, then she would never get to feel the beautiful silk lining that God has in store for her someday .... so in the mean time.... I have decided that I will do my best to try them on every so often to see what they feel like just enough so I can help my friend... just long enough for her to get to that silk lining.
So, who's shoes will you try on? No really .... post what you learned from slipping into someone else's shoes.
4 comments:
Heather-I am a better person because of your friendship and I am more equipped to walk the narrow road ahead in my shoes because you have been so gracious to hold my hand along the way. I write those words with tears falling from my eyes knowing that God's timing in all things is perfect. I can't thank Him enough for bringing you to North Idaho the week of Sawyer's birth to offer the kind of friendship and support that He knew I would need. Thank you for being willing to hurt and cry with me and try to understand what it is like to walk in my shoes, it is a special gift indeed. I do remember pushing Tess around in the stroller that day and noticing the looks that others would give. I remember thinking, "they think she is mine, I wish they could know that I do have a baby boy. I wish they could see how beautiful he is." I choose to say "is" rather than "was" because that is the beauty of God, he not only makes things of beauty but he makes things to last. Thank God that Sawyer IS and that we can hold him again someday. Your challenge is a good one. I will have to pray about which shoes I might need to try on. I love you friend.
thank you for that amazing post. You are a good friend and I know Heather is blessed because of you. I think I will slip into my VERY active 4 year olds shoes today and try to be more patient. I often forget what its like to have that much energy. I know I can be insensitive to her "need" to be moving constantly. Thanks for the reminder.
Ok, so my very own blog called me out! This morning my dear Parker is crawling out of his skin. We have had family visiting for the entire month of August and the last of our guests left yesterday. I'm desperate to get my house back together and he is desperate to have the attention he has had for a month now! Eeek! I suppose I'll need to wear his shoes today ... my house can wait... ugh!
Hey girl, what a great and inspiring post. I find this to be true in the "Christian" world so often. We think we know how everyone should handle everything. And the LORD is like, "you have no idea what they are going through". But isn't it so great to know that HE does? He knows exactly what Heather is feeling and His love and peace and Grace for those crazy times, surround her and all of us. It is neat to see Him working in both of your lives. He used you both to minister to eachother and like you said, you are forever changed.
We miss you guys and Idaho looks so beautiful. We'll have to plan one of our famous reunions up there. Wouldn't that be fun?
Blessings and Hug the kids and Chris for us!!!
Micky
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