Saturday, December 6, 2008

Wearing Hiking Socks

So, last night I had a wonderful dinner at Mu with some of my girlfriends here in California. We had a great time (as usual) It felt so great to be with them and catching up on thier lives. I found myself though at times feeling a bit out of place .... not with my friends, I will always feel at home with them but with something in me. Coming "home" to California has been bitter-sweet. It feels so great to be with the people who know me best. The friends whos shoulders I cried on when we losed yet another pregnancy.... the friends who rejoiced with me when we welcomed a new baby ..... the friends who laughed with me .... and cried with me through every defining moment thus far! I love these friends and it is so strange to think of life without them phsically by me side. but ... this place ... doesn't feel like home anymore. I love Idaho.... I love our new place .... I love the life this new place is giving us and the relationship it is giving me with my family and my Creator. But I hate the ache ... the ache for the sisterhood I have in my friends here. I know it will take time to establish new relationships. So, as I came home from dinner last night I felt a bit torn. I love my new home but miss my old home. I sat down on my bed and took off my boots (not snow or rain boots but cute California boots) and it hit me ..... I was wearing hiking socks under my cute California boots and I realized that I can find comfort in both lives. I don't have to decide between the two lives, they can blend together. I don't have to leave my life here to have my life there. There are plenty of things I want to change but the things I want to keep ... my friendships, will remain. So, I'll keep wearing my cute california booots and my hiking socks.

3 comments:

littlecbsmom said...

This was a beautifully written post and I'm glad you wrote all this. It is inspring to me as I prepare for my first trip back to California since we moved. I can't say that I love my new place like you do, but I am thrilled that God is blessing you in such a mighty way. I too can't wait to see my friends and family and I'm so grateful we get to spend Christmas together! Thanks again, this really touched me!

Crystal said...

That is AWESOME!

No you don't have to give up anything you have there.. It all makes you who you are, who God wants you to be! He has brought you through all those experiences with your friends.... and also brought you to your new home here.

I left all my family behind in Boise six years ago, I have Ryans family here... which is wonderful. And when I go back, I am usually ready to go home quickly. Like you said, its not home anymore.

And my two girlfriends, one is in Denver and the other in Portland.

So you and I need to get together!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jackie said...

Well the only thing that I keep thinking to say is, its amazing the roads and the people that God puts in our path!